Whaaaaa?

Life is becoming more harder.
I don't want to grow up.

I wish I had someone else
to pay the things that need to be paid for.
I wanna be back in elementary school.

Where all I had to worry about
was if I make to the bathroom in time.
"/

KCCY

July 25, 2005
You are my rock

..& After all this time, My love for you has not only stayed the same,
but stronger. This time please... Make me feel like it's worth it. <3

Bi-Polar,

God always puts me through the most toughest things.. But I ain't giving up, I know he's doing this for a reason. I just gotta find that path where that reason is..

wow,

I dont wanna be anything other then what ive been tryin to be lately..

A lot has happen in the past I don't know how long since I haven't blogged! I don't know. But all I can say is that I am truly blessed. I never realized how many options are open to me and how I'm so afraid of taking it. That was what my biggest fear on this past retreat I went to. My last retreat to attend as a teen, this will be my 5 retreat I've attended. & I've got to say it was worth it. Getting away from the weekend just to spend it with God. I love it,

So I got about 2 more days before the term ends and here comes Spring break. Awesome right? I hope so. I haven't closed my books yet, I don't think I am until Friday? Haww. I hate procasination. I hate how I'm such a last minute person, getting all my grades together, and passing so I can walk with my class. Speaking of school, I recently went on LOA (Leave of absence) for work because of school. Being a senior can be very scary, imagine college, yikes!

Above it all, It was all worth it. I hope in the end of this week. I'll be going to be with a good note. I'm gonna be praying. So darn hard. I love how God puts me into situations like these just to test me. I love you, hahahaha. :)

3 more weeks.

So I have 3 more weeks till I finally can close my books and rest my brain because It's Spring Break! :) I'm so effin exhasuted with school, imagine how it would be just trying to get through life after graduation. Speaking of graduation it's months closer, and as I said in the blog before this, I am so damn scared. I mean, when my first day of my senior year I thought, "damnn, I can't wait till graduation!" wrong. I don't want graduation to come, not yet that is. Senior year went by to darn fast and before I know it, I'll be graduating...

I got a retreat coming up next week, thats another thing I'm not really looking forward too, forgive me Jesus, but it's because I haven't been to one in a while and since this is going to be my last one to participate it's going to be one I need to remember and make the best out of it. Speaking of Church and all that, I totally forgot, I reminded myself this morning like a million times since I was so hungry during 1st and 2nd pd, I reminded myself that I won't be able to eat meat today, & whatya know. I'm taking bites off manapua chicken, YIKES! I totally forgot because I was so darn hungry, again, please forgive me jesus. He probably is so disspointed in me, that this is why I'm going through so many struggles right now, he's probably testing me if I can handle every obstacle he throws at me, and you know what? I'm gonna prove him wrong, and do it and face every problem I have. I hope.

Another thing is.. I hate my job, for those who don't know where I work yet, I work at Zippy's. & I hate it, the pay may be so great but damn dealing with some mean ass customers everyday is difficult, having to pull 40+ hours everytime just so I can get medical again because my mom can't support me with medical because I turned 18 already, gahh. What more stress can life throw at me? School + failing x work = LACK OF SLEEP. & even depression. Ack! I really hope that all this hard work I'm doing pulls off after graduation.

Lord, I love you. I know you have a path set for me. I just gotta fix my ways first. †

risks.

so it's official, i am finally going to a retreat, i haven't been on one for so long, this will be my i believe 6th retreat, honestly i am so nervous. i just wanna come home and feel like i'm heading some where, finally.

I have been taking the loads of risks lately, okay, it may not be a lot to some of you, but as the person I am I hate taking risk because I'm afraid it might not come out to what I want it to be. but hey, it's worth the try.

Another thing is that, us class of 2009 have about 2 more months of school left, since we finish in may. im scared as fuck. "/

Change,

IS GOOD.